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“I'm 3,475 miles away from home, I won't see x for four and a half months and no one knows me here!”
These are some of the thoughts that have threatened to engulf most gap year students at one time or another (just ask the Real Gap advisers!). But they and almost everyone who've travelled have got past them and gone on to have the time of their lives. When it comes to flying home, your biggest worry will be how to fit all your souvenirs into your rucksack.
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Coping with homesickness - Take it one day at a timeMost gap year experiences last more than a week, some several months. But it's not productive to dwell on that when you first arrive. Try not to think beyond the next meal or day, and focus on what you're doing at the moment. The rest will follow.
Coping with homesickness - Find a healthy balanceGetting over the sadness means finding a balance between wallowing and steadfast denial. Admit that you're missing people, cry if you need to and spend a bit of time on your own. But don't hole up completely - give other volunteers the chance to get to know you.
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Coping with homesickness - Cross the bridge Making contact with home, by email or phone, can help tremendously - but only if you apply a bit of restraint. Phoning home every day will make it difficult for you to cross the invisible bridge between you and home, and your gap year could become a series of mournful phone calls. That's not what you paid for!
If you have easy access to phones, arrange a time - once a week or so - when you'll get in touch. Look forward to it, but try not to call more often. If you're going into the wilderness, tell your parents or friend you don't know when you'll be able to contact them but promise yourself and them you'll call when you can.
Coping with homesickness - You're not the only oneIf you feel emotionally tumultuous, chances are that other volunteers might be too.
They're probably hoping to make friends and get over being homesick as much as you are. Indulge in a short communal wailing session if you really want to but after that, put on a brave face and share happier experiences with them.
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Coping with homesickness - Have a homesickness kitA couple of things you can reach for in times of crisis can help. That might be chocolate (calories abroad don't count!), an MP3 player with upbeat tunes on it, a notebook and pen, a book, a puzzle book (it'll keep your brain active) or a list of your friends' funniest quotes from the last few months. Photos are great but don't gaze at them for too long.
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Coping with homesickness - Be prepared to be ambushedIf you arrive in Swaziland confident you're going to sail through five months without the hint of a tear, you could be in for a shock.
Homesickness can strike at any point - on the plane, on your first night or two months into your trip.
If you've been sure you've beaten homesickness, a feeling of failure can add to your sense of gloom. It shouldn't. Accept that you're missing home and then deal with it as best you can.
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Coping with homesickness - A lesson in youHow to cope with homesickness is one of the many lessons you'll learn about yourself during your gap year. It'll be strange and unfamiliar the first time, but as you leave home more often - to go to uni, for example - you'll learn your symptoms and what helps you get through it.
And finally…
It might not feel like it at the time, but you're doing something amazing. Be proud of yourself for travelling, give yourself time to settle in and find your way of living it.
It's good to have considered the possibility that you may get homesickness whilst you are away and then if it creeps up on you, at least you'll be a bit better prepared!
See also:
Coping with Jet Lag
Coping with culture shock
Mentally preparing yourself for a gap year
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